Now that you’ve had a chance to reflect on you and your spouses level of commitment, you can now put all of that new found knowledge to use. Apply those techniques and make changes where change is needed. As you continue towards being committed to your best friend for the rest of your life, remember to check the status lights on marriage and pay attention to the areas that need attention before its too late.
My Marriage IS Road Trip Ready
Auto pilot is a temporary status. Turn it off and allow you and your husband to take reigns of where this ship is headed. Discuss with him where you see your marriage going or not going. Let him know why you chose to invest your time elsewhere? Be honest, let him know if you were unfulfilled in your quality time with him. But don’t stop there. Together you two should work to determine ways for improving the quality of your quality time. Trying something new together once a month is a start and then grow from there.
YOUR Future is Bright
You should always see new, exciting things for your marriage in the future. If you two have discussed having kids, maybe this is best time to put a focus on making that happen. You can never have enough sex! If you two have been saving for a home, put all of your time and energy together into finding the perfect place. Or if you two have simply wanted to get some alone time out of the country or locally, then make a plan to take a trip and stick to it. The future is the two of you…make a plan & stick to it!
Positivity is the ONLY Way
Constant negativity can drain the happiest of people and it can definitely prevent a marriage from being successful. Have you put a focus on speaking life into your marriage? Are you ready change yourself for success? When you speak negatively about something or constantly complain about what cannot happen, you speak the inevitable into existence. If you tell yourself that something will not improve, then it wont. If you say that your husband will never change, he won’t. Commit yourself to one week of simply saying “I’m happy that I’m married to my husband” and watch the change occur. This small change will not only change your thoughts, but it should change your feelings and your outlook on the greatest relationship you will ever have.
Old Dog, New Tricks?
Prior to graduating from college, I would tell myself that the only reason I wasn’t getting the positions I wanted was due to unfair business practices. The companies I applied to were either “giving jobs to people they liked or knew” or “completely disregarding my years of experience”. I had told myself that I didn’t need a degree. I expected different results doing the same thing. Being the same old me, but wanting better. It didn’t work. I finally wised up and made the decision to return to school and obtain my degree, and thus far prospects have been plentiful. What I’m saying is that, just like my job opportunities didn’t change when I remained the same, you can’t expect your marriage to improve if you continue to do as you have been doing. You can’t expect your husband to pay your attention when you continue to ignore him. Do not expect praise for diverting your attention outside of your marriage. If you want your marriage to feel and look new again, then assess how you’ve performed as a wife in the past twelve months and then make some changes. If you only cooked twice a week, make it three. If you never watch sports with your husband, pull up a spot on the couch and catch a game or two. Trust me, your goal is not to force change in him, but allow him to notice your change. Your small changes can have a big impact on your marriage.
In the end, both you and your husband have to be committed to making your marriage work. Not committed to simply remaining married on paper, but remaining married in commitment to love. If you feel that you cannot be committed to remaining a wife, committed to being a best friend, committed to being a confident at all times, then you need to explain to your husband where you are struggling and why. If you notice that your husband isn’t able to be fully committed to being a protector, being a great co-provider, as well as showing his love in every way, then work with him to renew his commitment. If you two are in a great space and committed to remaining just as in love as your were on day one, then focus on maintaining that commitment at all cost. Put the focus on your husband and your marriage and all else will fall into place.